Starting today, I’ll be launching the banner The Single: Holy and Happy. This is a collection of blogs about my reflections on the single life. I’ll be posting blogs under this banner every Monday. This blog is the first one (for this year) under the banner. Anyway…
If you still don’t know, I’m greatly considering going to full-time ministry. I love Jesus and I love His bride, the church. I desire to become a pastor. Actually, many people call me pastor. And every time they do, I don’t know how to respond. Should I be happy? Or nervous?
If I desire to be a pastor (and God willing He makes me one), then it is but right for me to look for a woman who desires to be pastor’s wife. I once reflected what could happen if I marry someone who desires to be one, and if I marry someone who doesn’t.
Let’s consider the latter first. Here are some of the things that could happen if I marry someone who doesn’t share the same passion as I do for full-time ministry (Please take note that I’m exaggerating to make a point):
• When I block a day to study the Word, she becomes jealous of my time, for she wants to have a date with me.
• When I decide to give away money to support a pastor, or a church, or a ministry, she begrudges over my decision, for that means she has to give up her shopping money as well.
• When I passionately discuss life, ministry, and theology with her, she just looks me in the eye and nods her head, even if she doesn’t understand.
• When I travel for speaking engagements or for a missions trip, she complains her exhaustion (Actually, she’s just complaining because her travel money has been spent).
• When I receive criticism from the church, within or without, she immediately breaks down, for she never thought that the life of a pastor’s wife would be that hard.
These could happen initially at best, or until we die at worst. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love the church or the ministry. It’s just that her level of passion isn’t as high as mine. This is a nightmare for a pastor (or for an aspiring one like me).
But when the woman desires to be a pastor’s wife and shares the same level of enthusiasm for the church as I do, these could happen:
• When I block a day to study the Word, she is willing to wait for the appointed time of our date, and will even intercede to God on my behalf, asking that He “open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of [His] law” (Psalm 119:18).
• When I decide to give away money to support a pastor, or a church, or a ministry, she is sad initially to give even her shopping money, but quickly realizes that “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).
• When I passionately discuss life, ministry, and theology with her, she converses with a high energy, and even “debates” with me to reverse any wrongful thinking and to sharpen my mind (God bless such wife!).
• When I travel for speaking engagements or for a missions trip, she experiences exhaustion but also fulfillment, because “beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” (Romans 10:15).
• When I receive criticism from the church, within or without, she remains steadfast for me, even struggling in prayer like Epaphras did, “that [I] may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God” (Colossians 4:12).
How beautiful it would be to marry such a woman. It only makes sense that since I love the ministry, she—the woman of my dreams (whoever she is)—must love it as well.