It’s almost a month since “Starting Over Again” hit the theaters. The mania must be gone by now. So let me finish my blog series with one more manhood lesson from the movie. (See Part 1 and Part 2 of the blog series.) And let me sound another spoiler alert.
Actually, the last lesson isn’t really on manhood; it’s for women as well. But since men are the leaders in relationships, I’ll be directing this blog on them (as I did in the past two blogs).
In one of the scenes, Marco Villanueva (Piolo Pascual) had sexual contact with his beloved Ginny Gonzales (Toni Gonzaga). The problem is they’re not married yet. Again, Marco is not setting us (men) a good example.
Let’s take a look on what the Bible says about sex and sex before marriage. There are lots of things the Bible says about sex. But let me show you a few. First, we have to understand that God created sex (“by him all things were created”—Colossians 1:16). Therefore it is good (“everything created by God is good”—1 Timothy 4:4). Also, God designed sex to be enjoyed by a husband and a wife. God commanded our first parents Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and [to] multiply and [to] fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28). He gave this commandment to a married heterosexual couple.
However, sin distorted it. After the Fall, when our first parents first sinned, sin distorted everything including sex. That’s why there are now various kinds of sexual perversion, including adultery, homosexual intercourse, and of course, pre-marital sex (PMS).
Clearly, PMS is forbidden, for sex is reserved for married heterosexual couples. The Bible gives us lots of command to avoid sexual immorality (including PMS). Examples include Romans 13:13, 1 Corinthians 6:18, Colossians 3:5, and 1 Thessalonians 4:13, among many others.
In his book Religion Saves, Mark Driscoll follows the pattern of the Bible and advises single men (and women) not to have sexual contact until marriage. He writes some wise words:
[S]ingle Christians are prone to ask where the line is. That question is sinful because it is asking how to get closer to sin rather than closer to Jesus. The Bible says, “Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality [Ephesians 5:3 NIV].” Paul says elsewhere that a single man should not touch any woman in any sexual way [1 Corinthians 7:1]. The issue is not where the line is, but, as Song of Solomon often says, when the time is. That time is the covenant of marriage. Until then, the New Testament repeatedly says to avoid porneia, that junk-drawer term for all kinds of sexual sin. As my friend John Piper often says, by God’s grace and the Spirit’s power, “theology can conquer biology.” A marriage must be built on the worship of God so that spiritual intimacy can enable all other intimacy, such as mental, emotional, physical, and sexual, without shame and without sin.1
Single men, don’t engage into sexual relations with someone who is not (yet) your wife. Wait for the right time, that is when you’re married. I was always hard on Marco and I will again be for the last time: Don’t be like him!
1Mark Driscoll, Religion Saves (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2009), 197-198.